|Eurovision Battle Royale 2031|
|Semi-Final 1||29 May - 3 June|
|Semi-Final 2||30 May - 4 June|
|Semi-Final 3||31 May - 4 June|
|Grand Final||13 June - 22 June|
|Arena||Klyuchevskaya Sopka (Semi-Final 1)
Ubsunur Hollow (Semi-Final 2)
Dyatlov Pass (Semi-Final 3)
Moscow (Grand Final)
|Winning Citizen||Ella Goddard|
|Eurovision Battle Royale|
|↞ 2030 ♦ 2032 ↠|
The Eurovision Battle Royale 2031, also known as the Eurovision 2031, or the EBR 2031, or more simply Russia 2039, was the 16th annual edition of the Battle Royale contest that took place in the Russian Federation. A total of 55 countries announced their intent to participate in the event. The Battle Royale consisted of three semi-finals, with each starting 24 hours after the one that preceded it.
The host country, Russia, was the winning nation of the 15th edition the year before, which gave them automatic hosting responsibilities for this edition, as well as automatically qualifying them to the Grand Final. The other countries were obliged to compete in three semi-finals, with each being distributed randomly through a random draw. During the semi-finals, 36 citizens participated in a fight to the death until only between 11 and 12 citizens remained, with the remaining qualifying for the Grand Final in which another fight to the death would take place, this time until only one remained.
In contrast with the organization of the previous Eurovision, Russia aimed to make the Eurovision bigger than every before. The 2031 contest marked the first time a country used more than one Arena; Russia used one for each Eurovision event. They aimed to showcase Russia's diverse terrain and cultures, with having their Arena's start from the west before ending in the Grand Final in the most iconic Russian place of all: Red Square, Moscow, where the Cornucopia was placed. They also embarked on a massive marketing campaign which saw increased interested in markets such as South America and Sub-Saharan Africa, which typically didn't care for the Eurovision. A result of the massive marketing campaign saw ratings spike to figures never seen; a record 5.1 billion people watched the first day of the first Semi-Final, 3.7 billion tuned in for the start of the Grand Final, while by the time the final two remained in the Grand Final, an estimated 80% of the population on the planet were watching to see Ella Goddard's surprise win.
The winner of this edition of the Eurovision Battle Royale was Ella Goddard of England. In the final moments, while trying to climb Saint Basil's Cathedral to escape Natasha who would have surely killed her, she slipped and fell down onto Natasha, who was climbing to get her below. The fall only broke Ella's arm, but killed Natasha who consequently finished in second place. Darina Novaković of Montenegro, Luca Baptista of Portugal, and Paige Williamson of Wales completed the Top 5. The host country, Russia, had it's citizens finish in 6th and 7th place, which combined adds to the best overall placing a host country has ever had.
It was revealed on 18 August 2030 that there would be 4 total Arena's for the 16th Battle Royale. This marked the first time that more than one Arena was used for the event. The decision to do this was approved with great enthusiasm from the EOs, who agreed that it would be such a waste for a country as big and diverse as Russia to have to pick just one iconic venue to act as the Arena. The Arenas were placed in each corner of Russia, starting from the far-east, and ending in the west. The first semi-final took place in Klyuchevskaya Sopka volcano located on Russia's Pacific coast Kamchatka peninsula. From there, the second semi-final took place on the fringes of the Gobi desert in the Ubsunur Hollow, located directly above the Mongolian border. The third semi-final took place in the infamous and supernatural Dyatlov Pass in the middle of Siberia, where 80 years ago mysterious events killed nine hikers. Lastly, having showcased volcano, desert, and mountains, the only nature setting left iconic to Russia was city. The Grand Final took place, somewhat expectedly, in Moscow, with the Cornucopia being right in the center of Red Square.
Format and Rules
The draw to determine in which semi-final each country would participate, as well as the podium numbers on which the host country's citizens would start, took place in Saint Petersburg, on the 2nd of December, 2030. Each country had until December 1st to announce their intent to participate in the Eurovision, and each country had until March 2nd, 2031 to submit their citizens.
The majority of countries chose their citizen through an internal selection, by means of a "Reaping". The reaping occurs when the governments of Europe, each organizes a televised lottery of their citizens where every single one, aged between 13 and 50, are obliged to have their names placed into a big pot of sorts, and after randomizing the names like a true lottery, one male and one female name are read out live on national television by government officials. These citizens are the reaped citizens to represent their country in the Eurovision. It's notable that each year the majority of citizens see this as an exciting honor, and many volunteer to be picked. To profit from this, it's necessary for each hopeful volunteer to pay money in order for their name to be entered more than once. This process could cost from as little as £50 in poorer countries, to £500 in more wealthy ones. The maximum number of times that a volunteer can have their name in a pot is 100. One would think that there wouldn't be that many volunteers for such a violent and life-ending event, but in this universe, the citizens of Europe look extremely positively on the event and see it as rebirth of the Golden Age of Ancient Greece and Rome; therefore, there are thousands of citizens each year who try to volunteer to bring glory and honor to their country.
In the build-up to the actual event, each reaped citizen is invited to many locations all throughout Europe to promote themselves, forge alliances with the other citizens, and talk with potential sponsors. These official parties are announced by the Event Organizers (EOs) usually around the start of the new year. These are televised and watched by millions as well, similar to how millions each year watch the red carpet for award shows.
The list of Official Parties for this year:
- Netherlands: Amsterdam (7 March)
- Austria: Vienna (22 March)
- Hungary: Budapest (5 April)
- Denmark: Copenhagen (18 April)
These parties aren't obligatory however, and some alternatives to this include immediately moving into the Citizen's Village (usually a high-tec tower or complex located in or near the city center of the most populous city in the host country). In any case, citizens are obliged to move into the Citizen's Village before the 30 of April, 2031. This is because each citizen needs time to get their fitness up and competitive to put on an entertaining TV show, as well as acclimate to the host country. The EOs provide each country and citizen with their own team of trainers, cooks, stylists, and other specialists free of charge to ensure that each citizen can become fit and competitive enough so the Battle Royale will be as entertaining as ever. For the month that the citizens live there, they are encouraged to learn survival techniques and work out so their chances of survival in the harsh Arena increases.
The night before the first semi-final, the Opening Ceremony takes place. Comparable to Olympic ceremonies, this ceremony celebrates the history and culture of the host country, and further includes multiple shows of firework, music, and other cultural and ethnic performances, as well as high-tec displays and other pyrotechnics. Following the cultural show is the Parade of Nations. Each citizen from the participating countries were brought into the main complex (usually the widest and biggest street in the Capitol of the host country) on high-tec self-driving chariots and shown to billions worldwide. More so, each chariot was decorated with symbols from the country each citizen is from, and followed their national flag. As soon as the pomp and celebration finished, the EOs and government officials of the host country gave speeches, the Eurovision Battle Royale flag was raised with the host country's flag, and the citizen's oath. The final event of the ceremony is the lighting of the cauldron, performed by the winner of the previous edition in every edition so far except the first.
Following the Opening Ceremony, the citizens are forced into lockdown in the Citizen's Village until their semi-final. It is forbidden for a citizen to have prior knowledge to results in a semi-final or access to anything that could give them an advantage in their semi-final. In fact, the citizens are forced to go with television and internet until their semi-final. This is to assure that the suspense is retained and each citizen participates fairly.
Tie-Break rules for the Semi-Finals
- Top 11 or 12 remaining citizens in each semi-final all live to compete in the Grand Final
- Of those, they are firstly ranked by number of kills they have committed.
- If all is still tied, then the Degrees of Separation Rule is enforced.
- ex. Jan of Germany kills only Teo of Belgium. Teo of Belgium had killed 2 other citizens beforehand. Erik of Sweden only kills Andriy of Russia. Andriy of Russia had killed 1 citizen beforehand. Jan of Germany will be ranked higher than Erik of Sweden in the semi-finals.
- 4. If the citizens still have the same number of kills, then the tie-break favors the one that reached that number of kills the earliest.
- 5. This Degree of Separation Rule will continue until necessary.
- 6. If all is still tied, the tie-break favors those who are furthest away from pod number 18.
- 7. If all is still tied, then the citizens will share the position.
Qualification for the Grand Final
Thirty-six citizens participated in each semi-final. Fifty-five countries participated in the Eurovision Battle Royale this year.
The first semi-final took place between May 29th and June 3rd.
|05||Netherlands||Resy van Noorden||female||20||10||0|
|09||Netherlands||Floris van Deventer||male||39||21||0|
|13||San Marino||Battista Monaldo||female||44||2||2|
|16||Bosnia & Herzegovina||Uzejir Mahmutovic||male||26||14||2|
|20||Czech Republic||Adriana Hlaváčová||female||40||19||1|
|29||Northern Ireland||Luke Harris||male||22||1||3|
|Summary of Kills|
|Day 1 (29 May)|
|36.||Dëlirana Varoshi of Kosovo accidentally steps off her pod too soon and blows up.|
|35.||Ineż Friggieri of Malta is killed by Battista Monaldo of San Marino.|
|34.||Sofia Pugh of Ireland is killed by Battista Monaldo of San Marino.|
|33.||Biljana Savić of Serbia is killed by Uzejir Mahmutovic of Bosnia & Herzegovina.|
|32.||Ksenia Khidirbegishvili of Georgia is killed by Philip Andresen of Denmark.|
|31.||Leah Kalland of Norway is killed by Leon Dresner of Germany.|
|30.||Yovka Strashilova of Bulgaria is killed by Philip Andresen of Denmark.|
|29.||Kristjan Henningson of Iceland is killed by Luke Harris of Northern Ireland.|
|28.||Julie Gagné of Monaco is chased down and mauled to death by a muttation bear.|
|27.||Volodymyr Bohdanovych of Ukraine is killed by Luke Harris pf Northern Ireland.|
|26.||Ken Muust of Estonia is killed by Adriana Hlaváčová of Czech Republic.|
|Day 2 (30 May)|
|25.||Ayçiçek Teymurazlu of Azerbaijan is killed by Nikša Tanaćković of Serbia.|
|24.||Falerine Morel of Belgium is killed by Miroslava Chupryna of Ukraine.|
|Day 3 (31 May)|
|23.||Deianira Koskou of Cyprus is killed by Christopher Reynolds of Ireland.|
|22.||Jani Paanenen of Finland is killed by Luke Harris of Northern Ireland.|
|21.||Floris van Deventer of Netherlands is killed by Aiste Asauskaite of Lithuania.|
|20.||Heike Krueger of Liechtenstein is killed by Leon Dresner of Germany.|
|19.||Adriana Hlaváčová of Czech Republic is killed by Franziska Frueh of Switzerland.|
|18.||Nikša Tanaćković of Serbia is killed by Ismael Secada of Spain.|
|17.||Christopher Reynolds of Ireland is killed by Valeria Iordanescu of Romania.|
|Day 4 (1 June)|
|16.||Valeria Iordanescu of Romania is killed by Natália Lukács of Hungary.|
|15.||Philip Andresen of Denmark is killed by Uzejir Mahmutovic of Bosnia & Herzegovina.|
|Day 5 (2 June)|
|14.||Uzejir Mahmutovic of Bosnia & Herzegovina is killed by Ivan Eklund of Sweden.|
|Day 6 (3 June)|
|13.||Ismael Secada of Spain is killed by Isacco Padovano of Italy.|
The second semi-final took place between May 30th and.
|20||Turkey||Mehmet Ali Erden||male||44||2||2|
|30||Faroe Islands||Reinaldur Lyngbye||male||13||9||0|
|Summary of Kills|
|Day 1 (30 May)|
|36.||Viktoria Stanislavova of Macedonia is killed by Emmanuel Busson of Luxembourg.|
|35.||Almo Buccho of Italy is killed by Aidan Woods of Wales.|
|34.||Rubi Semprún of Spain is killed by Izabela Przybyl of Poland.|
|33.||Ivan Laganas of Cyprus is killed by Stepane Nemsadze of Georgia.|
|32.||Daniela Radacanu of Moldova breathes in pollen from poisonous flowers and dies instantly.|
|31.||Laura Matos of Portugal is killed by Verrill Bellefeuille of Monaco.|
|30.||Henrik Orosz of Hungary is killed by Carine Gamelin of France.|
|29.||Gulsen Savas of Turkey is killed by Carine Gamelin of France.|
|Day 2 (31 May)|
|28.||Carine Gamelin of France is killed by Marija Skugor of Croatia.|
|27.||Sylvie Allaire of Luxembourg is killed by Benjamin Aubin of Switzerland.|
|26.||Kemhebek Bolatov of Kazakhstan is killed by Thierry Benjamin of Belgium.|
|25.||Lena Küfer of Germany is killed by Marija Skugor of Croatia.|
|Day 3 (1 June)|
|24.||Glafira Makarovna of Belarus is killed by Goulizar Narcessian of Armenia.|
|23.||Natália Koleno of Slovakia is killed by Verrill Bellefeuille of Monaco.|
|22.||Verrill Bellefeuille of Monaco is killed by Natália's ally Thierry Benjamin of Belgium.|
|Day 4 (2 June)|
|21.||Claudio Sarantos of Greece is killed by Naja Brandt of Denmark.|
|Day 5 (3 June)|
|20.||Marija Skugor of Croatia is killed by Mèlia Cusco of Andorra.|
|19.||Stepane Nemsadze of Georgia is killed by Mehmet Ali Erden of Turkey.|
|18.||Emmanuel Busson of Luxembourg is killed by Benjamin Aubin of Switzerland.|
|17.||Izabela Przybyl of Poland is killed by Aidan Woods of Wales.|
|16.||Ori Myer of Israel is killed by Mehmet Ali Erden of Turkey.|
|15.||Naja Brandt of Denmark is killed by Eliasz Ulanowski of Poland.|
|14.||Benjamin Aubin of Switzerland is killed by Claudia Schaefer of Austria.|
|Day 6 (4 June)|
|13.||Valdemaras Dembskis of Lithuania is mauled to death by a muttation snow leopard.|
|12.||Aidan Woods of Wales is killed by Alexej Polievka of Slovakia.|
The third semi-final took place between May 31st and June 4th.
|25||Bosnia & Herzegovina||Izeta Softic||female||46||26||0|
|31||Czech Republic||David Hanuš||male||32||18||0|
|32||Northern Ireland||Natasha Horton||female||48||1||2|
|33||San Marino||Vittorio Cocci||male||43||5||1|
|35||Faroe Islands||Tórunn Rønning||female||38||30||0|
|Summary of Kills|
|Day 1 (31 May)|
|36.||Eddie Milner of Scotland is killed by Ivan Divjak of Slovenia.|
|35.||Costache Dobrescu of Moldova is killed by Bera Alexitusdottir of Iceland.|
|34.||Hulda Kujala of Finland is killed by Bera Alexitusdottir of Iceland.|
|33.||Toeodor Kogalniceanu of Romania is killed by Markus Papst of Liechtenstein.|
|32.||Esteve Vietio of Andorra is killed by extreme radiation poisoning.|
|31.||Anden Nallbani of Kosovo accidentally slips and falls to his death into a deep, thin trench.|
|Day 2 (1 June)|
|30.||Tórunn Rønning of Faroe Islands is crushed in the avalanche.|
|29.||Tzippora Pinsky of Israel is crushed in the avalanche.|
|28.||Karmenu Audibert of Malta is pushed into the avalanche by Martin Moeller of Austria.|
|27.||Kaloust Sibryan of Armenia is crushed in the avalanche.|
|26.||Izeta Softic of Bosnia & Herzegovina is killed by Callie Bell of Scotland.|
|25.||Qëteza Ymeri of Albania is killed in the avalanche.|
|24.||Yordan Stanislavov of Macedonia is pushed into the avalanche during a battle by Arkadijs Dargums of Latvia.|
|23.||Markus Papst of Liechtenstein is struck and killed by heavy rocks during the avalanche.|
|22.||Heili Viiding of Estonia is pushed out of her hiding place and killed during the avalanche by Bera Alexitusdottir of Iceland.|
|21.||Lucas Erga of Norway is struck and killed by a tree during the avalanche.|
|20.||Ivan Divjak of Slovenia is pushed over the edge of a cliff and falls to his death during the avalanche.|
|19.||Vizma Piterovs of Latvia is crushed during the avalanche.|
|18.||David Hanuš of Czech Republic is pushed into the oncoming avalanche by Vittorio Cocci of San Marino.|
|17.||Emina Požar of Slovenia suffocates under the heavy snow after being trapped for hours after the avalanche.|
|16.||Elisabeth Ljungberg of Sweden also suffocates while trapped in the snow.|
|15.||Bera Alexitusdottir of Iceland is killed by Natasha Horton of Northern Ireland.|
|Day 3 (2 June)|
|14.||Niyaz Nürÿddinzade of Azerbaijan is killed by Efrosyna Marinos of Greece.|
|13.||Ljubomir Kraljic of Croatia is killed by Kusya Pozharsky of Belarus.|
|Day 4 (3 June)|
|12.||Erke Ayanova of Kazakhstan is killed by Natasha Horton of Northern Ireland.|
The Grand Final
Live from the Arena!
Welcome to the start of the Eurovision Battle Royale 2031. We are coming to you live from Moscow, Russia, which is the location of this year's Arena. In just under 5 minutes, the thirty-four finalists who battled their way through the semi-finals will join the host country's own two automatic qualifiers in the Arena, where they will commence a fight-to-the-death in which only one person will be left standing. That person will forever be honored as a hero in their country and have their name etched in the history books as a Eurovision Battle Royale champion. We can only imagine how nervous the competing citizens must be.
It looks like the citizens are being raised onto their pods. With all the pomp and months of preparations over with, we can finally say with delight: let the 16th Eurovision Battle Royale begin!
Day 1 (June 13)
This concludes Day 1. Eliasz of Poland got off to a flying start, killing Mehmet of Turkey immediately after reaching the Cornucopia, before later chasing the young Frenchman Georges to Saint Basil's Cathedral and bashing his head against it there, snapping his neck. Arkadijs thought he would run away in the opposite direction of everything, but he ended up drowning in the Moskva river after hastily jumping into it instead of just running to the nearby bridge to cross. Miroslava of Ukraine was the last death of the day when, at night, she was sneaking around a suburban street corner and scared a muttation elk, which then killed her.
Six citizens died, 30 remain.
Day 2 (June 14)
This concludes Day 2. It was a slower day, with the only direct battle being between the 13 year old Faroese citizen and the Scottish one. She easily overpowered him and beat him to death with a club. Later on in the afternoon, Lumturie of Albania was exploring an abandoned apartment block when he slipped on water right at the top of a staircase and fell to his death.
Two citizens died, 28 remain.
Day 3 (June 15)
Today was yet another slow day, with only Paige of Wales managing to shoot Kusya of Belarus in the abdomen with two arrows as she was stalking him through a park near Luzhniki Stadium.
One citizen died, 27 remain.
Day 4 (June 16)
Once again, it was a slow day where the only killer was Paige of Wales. This time, she killed the early favorite Eliasz of Poland with the same arrows she used to kill Kusya.
One citzien died, 26 remain.
Day 5 (June 17)
It was a slightly more exciting day. Efrosyna of Greece got her second kill early in the morning when she stumbled upon Goulizar of Armenia sleeping, who she then proceeded to stab three times in the chest as she slept. Resy of Netherlands tracked Callie of Scotland down and killed her using just her hands! After doing so, she looted her club from the Scotswoman's body. Lastly, the teenager Michael of England doesn't seem like he'd be able to kill anyone in person, so he's been doing what so many young citizens have done in the past: setting traps all over the Arena. He must've learnt this during the month long training sessions. His first victim was Vittorio of San Marino, who walked straight into his crossbow trap and was immediately killed.
Three citizens died, 23 remain.
Day 6 (June 18)
Attention citizens! A pack of muttation Siberian tigers have been released into the Arena. Find shelter!
This was a lot more exciting than any of the past days have been. We had a huge amount of action and lots of surprises. The siberian tigers were 20 feet long and about 2 meters tall. They ran a rampage throughout the Arena and terrorized the remaining citizens for the whole day. Greece and Belgium took advantage of the tigers and used them to gain kills. Claudia of Austria, Leon of Germany, and Mèlia of Andorra were the surprise deaths of today, as they were expected to all make it to the top 10.
Nine citizens died, 14 remain.
Day 7 (June 19)
This was a surprising kill. Efrosyna of Greece had risen up the bookies odds list to at least 3rd in most places, indicating she had the third highest potential to win, yet Ella of England stopped her in her tracks and killed her using a brick.
One citizen died, 13 remain.
Day 8 (June 20)
Attention Citizens: Tonight a Cold Front will come over Moscow and cause temperatures to drop below freezing. Keep warm!
Another Arena Event! There's never usually more than one in a single Eurovision event, it's very bizarre. Nevertheless, this freeze has killed nearly ALL of the favorites such as Luke of Northern Ireland, Resy of the Netherlands, and espcially the #1 to win Thierry of Belgium, and has left only those who have managed to hide out the entire time. This will be an intereseting last couple of days.
Six citizens died, 7 remain.
Day 9 (June 21)
Attention Citizens! The Event Organizers feel sorry that they have struck you with two Arena Events in a row. So to make up for it, they are offering a Feast at the Cornucopia, which is now re-stocked with warm food, clothing, and weapons.
Well no one saw that one coming! Natasha of Northern Ireland just simultaneously ruined Russia's chances, which were looking extremely good, of winning the Eurovision two years in a row, and angered an entire Nation of 200 million people. The two Russians thought they arrived at the Cornucopia first, but little did they know that Natasha was hiding from within the dark depths, able to see the two while they couldn't see her. She shot her new automatic crossbow at Susanna first, causing her to drop dead almost instantly. In the time that it took for Liev to react and scream out in shock and look around for the source, Natasha already had another arrow loaded. All Russians groaned in frustration and disappointed as she shot her second arrow straight into his heart, killing Liev and Russia's chances of a back-to-back victory while they were so close. After that, Natasha fled the scene. Darina finally made her first appearance of the Battle Royale and in a brutal fight, barely managed to kill powerhouse Paige of Wales. Lastly, the teenaged Luca of Portugal also made his first appearance, but he was easily killed by Ella of England, it was as if Luca was too starved and weak to fight back.
Four citizens died, 3 remain.
Day 10 (June 22)
And that's it! Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner of the 16th Eurovision Battle Royale, and it is Ella Goddard of England! Congratulations!
It was a tense and exciting last couple of days and it came to a close in the most dramatic fashion. Darina of Montenegro died in a botched attempt to ambush Ella of England; the British girl manage to cut Darina's arm off in the fight and stab her in the stomach before fleeing. Knowing from observing throughout the Battle Royale that Natasha was the strongest one left, and it was only them two, made Ella seem to freak out. She made up a plan to run and hide in Saint Basil's Cathedral. That plan almost worked until in the distance, she saw Natasha sprinting towards her from across Red Square! Ella couldn't bust open the doors of the Cathedral, so she saw no other option but to climb it. Somehow, she was able to do that. She pulled herself up quickly and perilously, many times almost falling because of the little space she had to safely stand and pull with her hands. She looked down and Natasha was already there climbing! She looked like she was panicking and running out of ideas. She decided to try and climb higher. She almost made it to the top when suddenly, her hand lost grip and she fell backwards! This was surely the end for Ella, after coming so close! On her way down, her body hit Natasha of Northern Ireland and they both dropped to the pavement. They both landed with dull thuds and for a second, it seemed as if the Event Organizers had a serious problem on their hands: would this be the first time a Eurovision has no winner because everyone ended up dying? After a minute or so of both citizens laying there, and hundreds of millions of people glued to their screens wondering which one would get up, or if any at all would, Ella finally started to stir. She slowly sat up, head bleeding and her left arm bent awkwardly. She looked around confused, and saw that Natasha of Northern Ireland was right next to her. She stood up in shock and confusion at just what happened. She and everyone else in the world were wondering the same question: Is Natasha Horton of Northern Ireland dead?
After twenty or so seconds, the firework, the last firework of the Eurovision, exploded in the air above Red Square, leaving no question as to who the winner was now. Ella of England stood in bewilderment at what happened, before EO helitravellers picked her up, congratulated her on her win, and flew her away from the Arena.
This concludes another great year for the Eurovision Battle Royale. See you next year in London!
|08||Netherlands||Resy van Noorden||female||20||11||1|
|10||Faroe Islands||Reinaldur Lyngbye||male||13||30||0|
|26||Northern Ireland||Luke Harris||male||22||10||0|
|30||Turkey||Mehmet Ali Erden||male||44||36||0|
|31||Northern Ireland||Natasha Horton||female||48||2||3|
|33||San Marino||Battista Monaldo||female||44||33||0|
|36||San Marino||Vittorio Cocci||male||43||24||0|